This Guy = Stupid Douche

More specifically, his profile picture. This frat-tastic uberdouche has one of those Facebook profile pictures that just screams Axe, Ed Hardy, body glitter, and calf implants. Props for being in shape, but a big numbing slap to the scrotum for using this picture as your profile pic. I hope you realize that every guy who sees your picture immediately hates you and hopes that you break an ankle following a drunken evening of fist-pumping to house music.

You are a douche and stupid, thus, we celebrate by posting your face and ripply abs on the Internet. Where do you get your juice? Please mock appropriately.

Bristol Palin Preaches Abstinence, for $30,000 A Pop

Bristol Palin, 19 year old daughter of inexperienced celebutant wanna-be politician but lacking any credible street cred, Sarah, is the new face of teen abstinence. What's funny is that Bristol is a teen mother, the daughter of a politician who actively preaches abstinence and Christian values. It's like Dick Cheney being against gay rights, yet he has a lesbian daughter. Off topic, but anyway, it's not so much that I'm against what she's doing (like a drug addict promoting an anti-drug campaign), it's that she's asking $30,000 a pop to speak to youth about abstinence. Really?!?!?!? I mean, really, Bristol Palin? You asking for $30,000 to speak about abstinence is like your Mom running for President. Absolutely retarded. Funny how she has also been quoted as saying that abstinence is unrealistic. I guess it really is all about the benjamins. Get a real job and good luck convincing teens to keep the peen out of the vageen. At least teach about birth control and tell them how you were too stupid to use any.

Jonathan Papelbon's Face

Red Sox closer, Jonathan Papelbon, has the stupidest dumb face in Major League Baseball. No no, I'm not saying there's something wrong with his face in 'normal activity', but there is when he pitches. In an attempt to be intimidating, Papelbon's delivery face looks like a picture some retarded fratdouche takes of himself in self-portraits at a party with every hot girl in attendance. If I were at the plate and hadn't seen Paplebon's pre-dump face before, I'd ask for time, step out of the box, and say something like, "What the hell?" while laughing and pointing at his scrunched up, half-assed attempt at being intimidating. It doesn't work. You look stupid. And I want to punch in you in your stupid face while you're on the mound but I'd probably get tazed before I got out there.

Ask Marcus Thames if he's intimidated by that face.

Welcome

Welcome to Celebrate Stupid, a blog dedicated to celebrating the world's morons, idiots, and general stupidity. This idea came to me as a way to expose the stupid and idiotic I see in everyday life; at work, home, in the media, and out in the world. I always remind my wife, "you are smarter than most people." Thus, a blog to prove it and make people laugh. Suggestions and comments are encouraged. Nothing is off limits as long as it's stupid!